Pokémon Scout: aaaaaaaaaa
this story was found on a discarded iomega clik drive found in a drainage ditch on september 7th, 1999
The Spooky Spaghetti
I'm a fan of Spyro the Dragon much like everyone else. Once upon a time I went to a garage sail and I found a game for 1 $ it said Spyro: Year of the Dragon but the label was torn off around the part of Spyro's head making it look like he was beheaded and it had Scout The Dragon: Year of infinite pain written on the back with blue permanent marker. I thought it was a glitch and bought it the old man at the counter said "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you" and then disapeared ina puff of smoke (dank). I drove home even though Im 13 and borrowed my dad's Mustang and then SLAMMED my game into my NES.
It didn't work. Then I tried to put it in my PS4 but it didn't work either. I thought it was a glitch but then it worked. The title screen looked normal, but instead of the ninja Rhynoc trying to steal an egg it tried to steal my soul and Spyro tried to fight back using hhyper-realistic Kung-Fu but it was too late and my soul was stolen. the title-theme I could hear the Quirky Questions theme from Tomodachi Life but in reverse and slowed down. I don't know how I recognized it.
this did not seem to have any real negative effects, so i continued onwards I pressed buttons and nothing happened and then I made a save file and the nsave file icons were all texture tile 00ff07ax. That was scary. I cried. Then I started. In the intro cutscene instead of bianca stealing the eggs it was the eggs stealing bianca. It was scary. I cried. All of the voices were sped up by exactly 0.0666 %. I knew because I like voices. The rest was creepy but I don't wanna describe it so just take my word for it.
Something super scary happened though and Spyro appeared in the one level that had the thing that had ice in it but its not that one ice level it was the other one. i noticed spyro had angry eyebrows but i assumed this was a glitch because he had angry eyebrows in spyro 2. So I went through the level everything was normal and then I went to the cuck bear who took my shit and went in to do ice skating with the little girl. I left the game on and then went to go make a snack. It was beauty. It was scary. I cried. But also tasty. Then I came back and the little girl had done her dance already and I got eggs for free. Too bad I already ate something. (It's free real egg-state.)
Ok but now the really scary stuff happens now (I can't swear anymore my mom is gonna kick my fucking ass. Shit.) so be fricking ready for this stuff. So I went to the other minigame which was a thing where you run and catch those little mother(censored) for egg and I knew this really cool trick where you glide to a platform and then you headbash at the thief and somehow that gets both egg instead of one egg. (There is so many egg I wish howtobasic was here to enjoy this with me) He came and then tried to steal my soul but I stopped him with a fucking gun i just shot him super hard it was rad as shit. (Cool guy.) #fuckinganahilateed ok anyway
out of the egg came a guy he looked like spyro but instead of eyes he had squares that looked like the sky in madness combat 5.5. It looks like a clown vomited on him after eating sprinkels, confetti, and children. It was scary. I didn't cry. I had no more tears to shed. But then I went to get another snack. it tasted like mcdonalds but it was, in fact, burger king. ok anyway i went back to the game and scout had eaten my family. He then turned the TV off, looked at me and said "live up to family name and face full life year of scout the dragon life of infinite pain" i have to get up. i have to fight the dragons. but then he told me. no john. you are the dragons. and then I was a scalie.
Cool epilogue
I went to sleep. In my dream I heard If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? He came to town like a midwinter storm He rode through the fields, so handsome and strong His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun But all he had come for was havin' some fun If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married long time ago Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you Best By 07 SEP 18 043 / 40 23,201 1 53 26 Updated 7 days ago by Sans Undertale. It was scary. I got up and got a snack.
(btw if you try to delete this pasta scout will come and delete you)